That Little Vial

I have little to no artistic ability. I wish I did. I wish I had forced myself, when I was younger, to slave away at sketches so that today, I could be an accomplished artist.

What is so alluring about the ability to draw, paint, mold or sculpt? Why is it so sought after? I think it is because we all long to create.

Creation is a bonding process. Be it a paint, a paper written for class, or a batch of cookies, whenever we pour our very selves into the creation of something, we find ourselves linked to it.

It is almost like we have a little vial of ourselves inside us, and when we create, we pour an amount of ourselves into that creation.

So right now, I am experienceing a need to empty my vial. I just want to pour myself into a project. My creativity is boiling, my hands fidgeting, my mind wanders.

I seek release. I seek to pour.

Is this universal? Does everyone feel this need? This itch? How can it be satisfied? How do you satisfy it?

My vial seems to be linked to so many aspects of my life. Is it my search for meaning? My search for self-expression? Or better yet, my masculine-driven need to have work?

Somehow, I think it is simply my need to bond through creation. And I think we all have it. I would be very disappointed if others did not feel this need. It is one of the biggest driving forces in my life. A constant seek to pour.

So what about you? What does your vial seek to pour itself into?

A Day's Deviations

Recently I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my life, Christianity, philosophy, mindsets, character and humor. And since I am currently cluttered up inside the seashell called the PC, I am going to allow this tidal wave of thoughts drift to the surface.

In my readings of Spiritual Leadership by Blackaby, some very probing questions have really challenged me and made me question a lot of aspects of my life. Questions like 'who is getting the glory for the things you are doing?' and 'are you comfortable with God speaking into your life?' So allow me to now answer some of these questions out loud to you... well, out loud in the sense that you can hear me in your head like you heard a bad Justin Timberlake song in 2005, playing over and over again.

Who gets the glory for the things I do? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I am weird (wouldn't surprise me) but I don't spend much time, or any at all for that matter, thinking about who is getting the glory for things I do. Does that mean I am getting the glory? I don't think so, but maybe. Does that mean God is getting the glory? Maybe, but probably not. So does that mean that yesterday, when I picked up a woman's license off the ground and handed it to she who had unknowingly dropped it onto the pavement, God wasn't getting the glory? I didn't want the glory, I didn't think of glory at all. So where did it go? Did I replace the lost license with the glory, like litter left to lie out in the sun?

So what does that mean for my Christianity, that I am not pondering who is getting the glory? Am I an apathetic glory monger? [gasp]

Next question: are you comfortable with God speaking into your life? I can answer this question quite simply: heck no! Now let me explain. do I feel comfortable with God, the Lord of All Creation talking to me about any willy nilly thing he wants? NO! Frankly, whenever God wants to say something to me, it is generally something uncomfortable or something I don't want to hear... so why would I like it? Do I, do my best, to accept it? Yes (kinda). So there you go...

What about you? Honestly consider these questions: Who is getting the glory for the things you are doing? Are you comfortable with God speaking into your life?